November 5, 2022

This week was a hard one! I had a few hiccups with my little business and it made me feel terrible. I simultaneously felt a certain peace but my self esteem took a blow. I have read about mastery, perseverance, grit, the value of failure and a bunch of other concepts that make sense. They motivate me. And then real life hits and I flounder a bit while I try to find out how to apply it all. I feel like giving up on my degree and education as I ask myself, 'what's the point?'. I feel like giving in to feelings of depression and failure. Then, after a little pity party, I dust myself off and decide to try again. I see that I tend to be able to face life a little better in the mornings as opposed to at the end of a long day of parenting, cooking, cleaning, studying, thinking and just doing more than seems like can fit into the day. I try not to make any lasting decisions at night! I liked my studies this week in that I felt encouraged to remember that with the Lord we are capable of great things. I often feel like I won't amount to much but I forget the most important part of the equation--It's not just me. I can rely on Heavenly Father to help guide and direct me. I have really big dreams that feel out of reach but they are worthy goals. I daydream about helping people both on a community level and also on a global level. I want to travel, not as a tourist, but as a humanitarian. I love cultures and languages and I want to relieve suffering. Having these goals and desires is one of the reasons that I don't give up when I feel overwhelmed. So, here's to another week of not giving up!  

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