This week tanked. I had a car accident, other financial setbacks, constant responsibilities at home, at church, in my personal life and i just wanted to get off the carousel. The content of this weeks study was hard to swallow. I feel like I'm slipping into a bit of a depression and that hearing that I should be more grateful seemed to be a slap in the face or kicking me while I was down. I know that I will eventually make it through the long hard days and I actually DO feel like gratitude is a key. But there is something about hearing that in the midst of complete and utter chaos that just made me want to throw in the towel. Sometimes life is just hard. I ended up coping with my feelings by turning to people that I could serve. I shoveled walks and carried groceries for elderly women, I cooked meals and cleaned clothes for my family, I taught my little community english class and I carried out programs and activities in my church calling. I am still overwhelmed but I had some beautiful moments! I began to feel my slump being lifted by the 'attitude of gratitude.' Reading about gratitude is not the answer, cultivating it is.
November 5, 2022 This week was a hard one! I had a few hiccups with my little business and it made me feel terrible. I simultaneously felt a certain peace but my self esteem took a blow. I have read about mastery, perseverance, grit, the value of failure and a bunch of other concepts that make sense. They motivate me. And then real life hits and I flounder a bit while I try to find out how to apply it all. I feel like giving up on my degree and education as I ask myself, 'what's the point?'. I feel like giving in to feelings of depression and failure. Then, after a little pity party, I dust myself off and decide to try again. I see that I tend to be able to face life a little better in the mornings as opposed to at the end of a long day of parenting, cooking, cleaning, studying, thinking and just doing more than seems like can fit into the day. I try not to make any lasting decisions at night! I liked my studies this week in that I felt encouraged to remember that with the...
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